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All intimate relationships have their problems, and sometimes
it's difficult for other to decide when it's appropriate to
intervene. Maybe your friend has mentioned "trouble"
at home, and you've dismissed her comments by saying all couples
have problems. Ask yourself how you've reacted in the past to
these possible signs that your friend is being abused and need
your help:
• Have you readily accepted your friend's explanation
for visible injuries, such as black eyes, bruises, or broken
bones? Do you tend not to press her further about frequent "accidents"
that cause her to miss work?
• Does your friend's partner exert an unusual amount of
control over her activities? Are you reluctant to discuss his
control over family finances, the way she dresses, and her contact
with family and friends?
• If your friend's partner ridicules her publicly, do
you and others ignore his behaviour or join in the laughter
at your friend's expense? Think about why you might not be willing
to stand up for our friend. Do you already sense the volatile
nature of her partner's comments?
• Have you noticed changes in your friend's or your friend's
children's behaviour? Does she appear frightened, exhausted
or on edge? Do the children seem to be easily upset? Are they
experiencing sudden problems in school or other activities?
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