Wednesday 14th May, 2008

But I didn't know!

All intimate relationships have their problems, and sometimes it's difficult for other to decide when it's appropriate to intervene. Maybe your friend has mentioned "trouble" at home, and you've dismissed her comments by saying all couples have problems. Ask yourself how you've reacted in the past to these possible signs that your friend is being abused and need your help:

• Have you readily accepted your friend's explanation for visible injuries, such as black eyes, bruises, or broken bones? Do you tend not to press her further about frequent "accidents" that cause her to miss work?

• Does your friend's partner exert an unusual amount of control over her activities? Are you reluctant to discuss his control over family finances, the way she dresses, and her contact with family and friends?

• If your friend's partner ridicules her publicly, do you and others ignore his behaviour or join in the laughter at your friend's expense? Think about why you might not be willing to stand up for our friend. Do you already sense the volatile nature of her partner's comments?

• Have you noticed changes in your friend's or your friend's children's behaviour? Does she appear frightened, exhausted or on edge? Do the children seem to be easily upset? Are they experiencing sudden problems in school or other activities?
How To Help